Sunday, March 24, 2013

And again-hopes dashed.

Warning - this is a very negative post...

I had really thought this month might work.  Things had been different - we couldn't have timed the IUI any better...everything looked right on track. But all of the home pregnancy tests I took starting Wednesday were COMPLETELY without a trace of a second line, and then I got my period right as I'm going out the door to have the blood test at the clinic this morning.

I really hate the blood test.

It has always come after I've already found out on my own I'm not pregnant, but you still have to waste your time in the waiting room and suffer another blood draw to have your disappointment confirmed.  Couldn't they do it ONE day earlier??

Also, I was not really amused talking to the nurse practitioner this week during our "post-op" call.  I brought up the two friends of mine who had "unexplained" infertility that then found out they had something irregular auto-immunewise.  Her response?  Doing those tests would be fishing and we have no reason to believe they would be positive based on my medical history.  Umm OK - then I choose Go Fish!  There obviously has to be a reason we're STILL not pregnant - but there seems to be NO push on their end to find it out.  It's just as well, we still don't know a lot, and IVF is your best chance.

I've started reading about IVF...and all it's doing is making me really scared. SO many different hormones, timing that is SO important, tons of monitoring, invasive procedures.  I can't believe we're actually at this point - the last resort.

Worst day of the month.

But I'm trying a new tactic this month - instead of being a ball on the couch with tissues and movies, I'm going to go meet a friend for brunch...but still packing tissues in my purse, and tampons. Damn it.

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